don't drop the soap

I wasn't even aware that you were being held captive. Is there anything I can do? I could bake a cake with a file in it if you want. Can they see this blog? They'd probably suspect a cake anyway. Maybe a pie then. They'd never see that one coming. Guess I'd better start baking. I'm impressed that you're even blogging from jail, I have no excuse from my long absence from the blog...I could make up a cool excuse though. I think I will. You see, what happened was....I was just sitting here minding my own business, when all of a sudden these ninjas burst into my living room, ninja-like. So I didn't even see them for an hour or two. But then finally I looked up and thought it was a little odd that I had ninjas hanging from my ceiling. By that time, there was nothing I could do. I was scared. I offered them some whiskey, which they politely accepted, and we sat down and had a few drinks and talked about current events and whatnot. Then the conversation moved on to religion. I'm here to tell you, never talk to ninjas about religion. You'll never hear the end of it. They got to my house six or seven days ago, and they finally shut up just now. I'm glad they left. Now I've got all these dishes to do before anyone else comes over. So that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Fuck ninjas.