What's Updog?

almost home

2009-10-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

so last night kind of felt like the first night in the new apartment. i mean it sucks that rusty hid in his room all night - i think he had a less than optimal experience with the new man, and just doesn't want to socialize. that's just a theory. of course, so is gravity. but it was nice to be surrounded by good friends and america's new top runway designers. seems like kind of an easy job, really. long, flat surface, raise it up about three feet, extend it out into the audience. whatever, it must be nice to make money.

speaking of money. so bill checked his account and he is short for rent. i gave him all my money (which wasn't much), and with his tips on monday, we should be covered. i only have a tiny check coming from the convenience store, and it has to feed me for at least two weeks. that means i need to take a trip to salvation army downtown and pick up some food. my luck it will be beets and wheat flour. so if anyone wants any beetbread in the next few weeks, i've got it on lock.

i hope the birthday celebration goes well. i should be available all day on sunday, but i'd be kind of uncomfortable doing the birthday meal thing (again, completely broke, and you'd have to pick me up on your birthday, which sucks a whole lot). but i'd love to see you if the opportunity arises. perhaps in a moment of escaping from whatever else is going on, you can escape to my place. or i can meet you somewhere - it's really going to depend on how your day is going. you know i love you with all my heart, so if i don't get to see you on the day, it's no worries. i'm here for the long haul.

where is my mind?

2009-10-21T17:11:00.000-07:00

I picked a bad day to promise you a blog post. I just spent the last ten minutes staring at the computer screen, trying to think of something interesting to say. I've got nothing though. Once again, I should be doing the shitload of homework that's due tomorrow...but I'm way too burnt out on school right now. Mostly burnt out on teachers that don't teach. What exactly is my tuition paying for if they read straight out of the textbook, or worse yet, expect us to just read the book and teach ourselves, then grade us on problems we've never seen examples of? I'll be so happy if I make even halfway decent grades this semester. Ugggggghhhhh. I'm sorry, like I said, probably shouldn't have started blogging tonight. Perhaps I'll try again tomorrow. For now, I think I'll switch to doing dishes as my anti-school alternative. I love you though, I hope today is a little better than yesterday for you, and I hope tomorrow is a little better than today. Etc.

it really is about time

2009-10-09T17:36:00.000-07:00

i, too, thought a lot of video prospects the last few days (it's been kind of long and sordid), and i can't wait to get a camera and get going with that shit. i looked at several stores and just couldn't find a machine that i wanted for the money (or could afford the payments on), so i'll probably just set a few bucks asside and then end up getting something from alan's down the road in a week or two. either way, we'll be up and running soon.

i also decided that just straight reportage and strange pytonesque roleplaying wasn't going to sate either of us, so i bought a few stuffed animals (a bulldog and a koala bear, to be exact) from the goodwill and am currently converting them into hand puppets. oh, yeah, i'm doing that. we'll probably make other strange films as well, but we'll figure all that out in a minute.

no, i haven't seen the movie yet, yes, we need to see the movie, absolutely, it should be first on our list, no, it can't be just with anybody, it's gotta be with you.

i'm so tired. bill's battery died at the big goodwill way down patton, so we had to walk back to haywood and then i had to carry a new battery back to the car. my arms HURT. but that's okay. you know why? 'cause when the music's over, and the light's have gone down, there's always and forever, each moment with you, is just like a dream to me, that somehow came true, and i know tomorrow will still be the same, 'cause we've got a life of love that won't ever change.

al fucking green, baby.

manic depression's a frustrating mess

2009-10-08T19:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here we go again. Take two. Or whatever take this is. This is why I'm not directing this movie. Speaking of movies, I was driving down that road where we saw all that cool shit we need to film today, and I noticed the biggest MOMS graffiti I've seen so far. We should do a special segment on MOMS and TRIDE, hopefully with interviews with gang members. Maybe I could join a gang. I've also seen a couple of STEPHEN HAWKING tags, but those are less common and I don't know who does them...but I think they're my favorite.

Really didn't mean to focus on local graffiti in this post. Perhaps I'm beating around the bush a bit because I don't feel like dealing with any real emotions or issues right now. At least I'm not drinking to avoid things at the moment. That's progress, right? I think so. I also just remembered we still haven't seen Inglourious Basterds. Or at least I haven't. Is it still out? If it is, that should be at the top of our "getting out and doing shit" list.

I feel like having my new crazy phone will be beneficial, at least in the sense that it has a pretty decent camera on it. It even has a black and white setting, which makes pretty much any picture look good. So maybe I'll actually start taking lots of pictures for once. I'll be the next Annie Leibovitz in no time...ha!

It feels good to blog again. I hope we can keep this up, I think it's healthy. And it's a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy. For now, I think I'm gonna leave it at this and go watch Sin City again. I just need to say one more thing: fuck the fucking fuckers.

I feel better....ish. Hope the job nonsense is going okay for you. And thank you.

without my meredith

2009-02-09T11:33:00.000-08:00

goddamn it actually sucks here. i mean, it's better than living in the aftermath of a tsunami, or in the asshole of a giant vole, or in iowa, but it still sucks more than it should suck. a lot of it is that i just want to get fucking started on the next part of my thing here, you know? did this part, didn't like most of it, want to move forward. get on. raleigh, hyaa, me, nyaa. fuck you guys ... i'm going home. which is the other big part. i can't see my meredith, like, ever. and that sucks on any planet. miss you. can't wait to be like "whatchu doin'" and you be like "nuttin'" and i be like "scool, let's do sumpin'" and you be like "aiight.". then we actually could. that will be neat. anyway, i said i'd blog, now i have to go back to work. but i love you.

they mostly come out at night...mostly

2008-12-30T18:15:00.000-08:00

I guess this is sort of my post-Christmas update. I suppose that means I should fill you in on Christmas events. Well, as I was driving to Greensboro after I got off work on Xmas Eve, my mom told me that they had to put our cat Pandora to sleep that morning. We had her for 12 years. Apparently she had some sort of thyroid problem, and eventually she couldn't really breathe anymore. So that was sad, but I'm glad she doesn't have to suffer now. And I've still got Ralph, although he still doesn't live with me.

Anyway, then I got to briefly hang out with Emily M., and we got appropriately drunk for the occasion. Hence my Xmas morning hangover. Although strangely, even though my parents knew I went to the bar, and they knew I didn't feel good, they never put two and two together to equal drunk. But I digress. The visit with my grandma and great aunt in VA wasn't nearly as unpleasant as usual. In fact, it was almost enjoyable...nobody complained about their aches or impending deaths, and we actually carried on a conversation that didn't involve much bitchiness.

I also saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with my parents. It truly deserves all the hype it's gotten. Brad Pitt, you son of a bitch, you've done it again.

Alright, enough about Xmas shit. Let's talk about hiking. I have been focused hardcorestyle on my Appalachian Trail goal as of late. I can't remember if I told you this already, but I decided to do about two weeks on the Mountains-to-Sea Trail this summer, probably from Asheville to Gboro so I'd have someone to drive me back here when I was done hiking. I think I just talked my friend Adam into doing that with me, so now I'm super excited. I knew it wouldn't be a good idea to do it alone. Two weeks should be a pretty good practice run for the AT, at least in these preliminary stages of planning. I think my ultimate goal is to thru-hike from Georgia to Maine before I turn 26. That gives me three years to graduate and get my shit together and do it. I don't think I've ever been more serious about anything in my life; I'm not even sure why, but I feel like this is something I have to do. And I know it's going to be the hardest fucking thing I ever do, but it will be so worth it.

Well, I'm tired and smelly from a hike I did earlier today, so I'm going to stop writing and go shower. I don't think I'll have trouble falling asleep tonight. I hope you don't either, my friend. Feel better.

if i were i life coach, i'd be horse drawn

2008-12-23T17:03:00.000-08:00

not that most horses can draw very well. it's a hooves thing. thanks for the thoughts, and yes, you're right. i try to think as positive as possible and about relationships as little as i can. but i still have a fucked up attitude and am just about as lonely as i've been in a decade or two. but that's all just bullshit. my life is actually great. i have lots of great friends (like you), and a great future in making art and music (with people like you). so it's all good.

the time has come, the walrus said...

2008-12-20T17:02:00.000-08:00

Shit, I'm sorry about your horrible night and your horrible day at work. I suggest homicide rather than suicide, you'd get no satisfaction from suicide. Or at least not if we're right about the afterlife. But seriously, can I help in any way?

I also had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. And I think at some point while I was laying there, I thought to myself, "You know, you really should change your attitude. I bet you'd be a lot happier if you'd just stop dwelling on how miserable you are. And maybe stop thinking about relationships so much." Somehow it made me feel better momentarily...until this morning, when I woke up pissed because I had to work and I was still alone and sad. Oh well. At least I didn't have to listen to such stupidity while I was attempting to sleep....that sucks big time. I suggest ear plugs for that particular problem.

I think that's all the suggestions I have for today. This is why I'm not a life coach, I'd be horrible at it.

Love.

today, so far

2008-12-20T09:19:00.000-08:00

12:00 am glad i went to bed early. can lay here and listen to roommate argue on phone with boyfriend about meaningless, child things

1:00 am well, i don't have to work in the morning (day off - yippie!), so i should start working on that new story idea

2:00 am roommate arguing with play boyfriend on phone. still. remember to kill them

3:00 am okay, okay, fine - to bed

3:45 am shit, can't sleep

4:30 am still can't sleep

*?* sleeping

7:30 am meagin calls. had a bad night, needs me to work for her. say shit. then say okay

10:00 am working

12:20 pm adding to blog, contemplating suicide. or homicide. or both

unfortunately, you took the good stories with you

2008-12-15T10:37:00.001-08:00

i'm afraid that this town and 99% of it's inhabitants are as lame and boring as they've always been, except that most of my favorite exceptions have moved on to higher ground, leaving only a hideous, destiute wasteland of mindless idiocy, drooling masses of ignorant filth, many with cars and expensive clothing. very few rays of light left, love. dark and cold here, like a pile of near-dead fish during a blackout at night. some of which still have knives and have reached the level of delirium. hence the pinching. have i mentioned that i'm fuckin' sick of this place? i'll tell you a story. one day, i woke up and i wasn't here anymore. and i know that the smouldering crater i left behind was a better place now. oh yes. a better place. i have to run, i think a fish is poking me.

don't give away apples to apples!

2008-12-14T09:48:00.000-08:00

I've been really wanting to play that game lately. Such an excellent invention. As long as you keep the ninjas away from it, that is. They really are some destructive bastards sometimes. How's the captivity going? True to your belief, I have not yet made a pie. But I fully intend to at some point before you're released, seriously.

Holy shit, I can't believe I only have one more exam tomorrow and then I'm on a month-long hiatus from school. Hooray! I wish I could somehow manage to get a hiatus from work at the same time and then I'd try to stow myself away on a plane going someplace warm, sunny, and tropical. Where all the drinks have umbrellas. But on second thought, I don't want those girlie drinks. Maybe I'll stow away at a brewery instead. Delicious.

So tell me some stories. Anything interesting going on in the 919 area? I retract the question. I'm being too optimistic about Raleigh's entertainment value. I guess I'm just going on the hope that in terms of odds, SOMETHING has to happen EVENTUALLY. But maybe not...

what did you do with all the ninja droppings?

2008-12-08T09:39:00.000-08:00

so my captivity is pretty much equally as believable as your whiskey-imbibing, theologically minded ninjas, but you really expect me to believe that you're going to make me a pie? although i can see the file part. sorry about the ninjas. i figured that they'd leave you alone after you moved, but the way of the dark warrior is mysterious. i, too, need to apologize for my lack of bloggingness, though i cannot blame such an intrusion. it is all me, my bad, i suck, i need to be punished for this thing. my preferred form of punishment would be either money or pizza. i would take a cheeseburger. scotch would be fine. or cigarettes. the guards smoked all mine. i shall have the gogol to you in a day or two, i found out that bill has a copy, so i'll send it along. what else? i set out all my games to be given away. that means it's close, mon ami. close.

don't drop the soap

2008-12-02T10:41:00.000-08:00

I wasn't even aware that you were being held captive. Is there anything I can do? I could bake a cake with a file in it if you want. Can they see this blog? They'd probably suspect a cake anyway. Maybe a pie then. They'd never see that one coming. Guess I'd better start baking. I'm impressed that you're even blogging from jail, I have no excuse from my long absence from the blog...I could make up a cool excuse though. I think I will. You see, what happened was....I was just sitting here minding my own business, when all of a sudden these ninjas burst into my living room, ninja-like. So I didn't even see them for an hour or two. But then finally I looked up and thought it was a little odd that I had ninjas hanging from my ceiling. By that time, there was nothing I could do. I was scared. I offered them some whiskey, which they politely accepted, and we sat down and had a few drinks and talked about current events and whatnot. Then the conversation moved on to religion. I'm here to tell you, never talk to ninjas about religion. You'll never hear the end of it. They got to my house six or seven days ago, and they finally shut up just now. I'm glad they left. Now I've got all these dishes to do before anyone else comes over. So that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Fuck ninjas.

i must blog quietly, or they may hear

2008-12-02T09:04:00.000-08:00

at least my cell is clean. the food has been the same, a rusty plate spotted with an assortment of either crunchy or runny, otherwise unidentifiable morsels - i believe at least a few of them are poop. besides the light of the barred window in the door, i receive no real energy in here - though i am occassionally taunted with bizarre dangling objects just beyond the periphery of my sight, probably to sap what little strength i may still have. everything is either hard, sharp, cold, or glazed in a hideous mossy film - or some combination of the same. i must escape. i must be free. i will try to come up with a plan the next time my mind works ... wait ... i think someone's coming ...

oh, yeah - like the boat times ...

2008-11-21T07:36:00.000-08:00

no, you're awesome, i just haven't had the time or energy to keep up lately. things will improve, however. most of the real work we can actually get going on will have to wait until spring anyway, when we can really sit down and work together for a few hours once in a while. the site will just be a place to store all of the pertinent business information for quick access - it may even evolve into the radio station (or part of it might, anyway), but that's way down the road.

joshua is bringing his laptop over to my apart ... er ... my superhero technolair this weekend, and we'll see if it's still a hot spot. if so, i'm buying a wireless card hopefully next week. then if nothing else, i can start up the virtual art studio and give us some kind of underpinning for all of this. but no, i definately don't want to replace the blog. it's one of the few happy places i have to go to right now.

i put recording studio equipment on my computer this week - it has a twelve band mix board for each of a few hundred channels, so there shouldn't be much we can't edit into it's component parts (should be able to isolate any given track out of any given music so long as the orginal was recorded post 4 track - but the program does have some audio tools, too - so ...). this all means, of course, that we need to think about what kind of beck-level home studio album we might want to work on over the next few years. obviously, i'm willing to think about anything. the other point of having the recording software is so that we can bundle our radio programs into single elements to move around easier. we can record all our own vocal tracks for intros, ads, comments, skits, bunny deaths, whatever.

what else? i need to blog more often so i have less to remember. oh, yeah, you're a towel.

i heard about that thing with the stuff at the place

2008-11-19T06:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, I really don't have an excuse for how much I've sucked at blogging lately. I apologize. I hope you're completely recovered now and everything is back to normal. Or better than normal. Wouldn't it be cool if you got sick and then came away from it with super powers?

So let's talk about this website idea of yours. What exactly do you have in mind? How would it be very different from this? Would it just be more about the radio station and records and whatnot, and less of our bullshit? My html skills are pretty rusty, but I could probably remember. I do think it's a good idea to have everything in a more accessible form. It would be neat if we had links to mp3s as well. But one step at a time.

I can't believe the end of November is sneaking up on me so quickly. Thanksgiving is almost here, that dreaded anti-turkey holiday. Shit. At least I'll get to see my kitten, who is apparently getting less kitten-ish every day. How's Dinah?

There's only about 3 weeks left of the semester, and then I get a nice long break. Not from work, of course, but not being in school for a while will help immensely. I'd like to make another trip to Raleigh at some point in December, hopefully for more than a day. I'll let you know when I figure that out.

Well, that's all I've got for now. I'll try to step up my A-game from now on.

okay, i do feel better

2008-11-15T10:21:00.000-08:00

sorry. i have not been so much under the weather as under a big, hairy, dead ogre which was under a broken dinette set, under a collapsed soup kitchen, under a pile of dead babies, which was, as it happens, under the weather. i was in the weather's armpit. it was an unusually shitty experience, and i still have a fairly ugly cough. whatever bug got into my body was like a shit ninja. finally, i feel very nearly better. i am at the library waiting for bill to get awake enough to come do laundry with me. thanks for the words of kindness over this last week. made the armpit much easier to deal with. i think we need to think about a webpage, so that we can see what the hell we're collectively doing here. not that i don't love the blog, it would just be nice to see what's going on since i never get online on my own workspace. it was too bad about that last one ... what was it, uber? i can't remember. maybe i'm still sick. i wish i had the internet at home and then it wouldn't matter. well, once i move i'll get us on a network. anway, i have to go launder. i mean, really now. for shame.

a little something to make you feel better

2008-11-09T08:47:00.000-08:00

http://punditkitchen.com/2008/09/05/political-pictures-barack-obama-chill-out-got-this/

Hope you're resting and getting well!

you want me to use a carrier pigeon.

2008-11-05T10:31:00.000-08:00

i mean really. in this age of enlightened democracy (excepting the treatment of our beleaguered franken), we should think long and hard before using our fowl. you can still use commie fowl if you want, of course, and it's still open season on any bird from kentucky. well, any chicken, really. mmm. chicken. but pigeon? i'd hate to be munching along and accidently choke on a communique (i don't like eating my words - but i may eat some of yours). i've forgotten what i'm saying. oh, yeah - president obama. i bet it will be neat to talk to people who are younger than say eight or ten right now in ten years. i mean, for them, it just always will have been this way. maybe it's by way of cultural enhancement that we forget our past mistakes. hmm. but the pigeons will remember. and if i know christians, the cardinals won't forget too soon, either. those sluts. hooray change!

this is not a blog about the election

2008-11-05T05:37:00.000-08:00

Although I am excited. That's all I'm going to say. Except that I'm pretty upset about Al Franken losing the Minnesota Senate race.

Now, as to the matter of the next album: Sticky Fingers. Also, the updated spreadsheet is in the mail. In the email, I mean. That just doesn't sound as good. Fuck computers, let's just go back to using carrier pigeons.

sounds horrible and interesting - like identifying roadkill

2008-11-03T08:24:00.000-08:00

hmm. well i certainly hope you don't have any riot-type situations at the museum. unless they're like actual artwork riots, where all the subjects come to life and freak out because the contrast and color is so much less intense out here. that'd be okay. i've never been in a room full of klan paraphanalia, though i honestly don't regret this. still - now i want to see it.

beyond that, i started the first set of pages for high way. as soon as i have a few more in a state of near completion (which is difficult, because every page bleeds into the ones before and after it), i'll copy them at the library (11x14s, can't do it at home) and send some out to you and linds. i think you'll like where i'm going with this, though remember, it will probably take ten to twenty pages of do-overs until i get a rhythm and start locking them. anyway, i miss you, i love you, and patti's horses is the next album.

do me a favor and send me your new list. i'm lost.

fine then, i'm a towel

2008-11-01T18:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, try to imagine that you work at an art museum. Imagine that you walk into a big gallery where they're installing an exhibition of an artist you weren't previously familiar with. So you look around and everything seems to be perfectly normal, just some drawings and paintings. And then there's a little room off to one side of the gallery that's closed off by curtains. So, naturally, you want to know what's in there. But I guarantee you aren't expecting to see a dark room, hung floor to ceiling and wall to wall with various artwork and paraphernalia related to the KKK. We're talking hundreds of dolls with hoods, drawings of Klan members with glowing red eyes, ceremonial shrouds, and so on. Creepy as fuck. I've never seen a more intense collection of art. I got goosebumps and I couldn't stay in that room for more than a minute or two. I had no idea....I wish someone had prepared me for that. Seriously though, look up William Christenberry. I think you might be right about him taking photographs, but this particular exhibition doesn't focus on that at all. Looking at his work, you're not sure if he's the most racist guy on earth, or if he's trying to speak out against that sort of thing. I was relieved to find out that he's actually quite the activist. But I'm nervous about having that show in our museum, I don't know what I'm going to say when it pisses people off (which it most certainly will, on both ends of the spectrum). I guess that's a good sign that it's effective as art.

Anyway...sorry for the long spiel. All I wanted to say was Lola versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Part 1 by The Kinks.

my towelness is not at issue

2008-10-31T09:22:00.000-07:00

yours however, is.

considering that it's halloween and all that.

congrats on the accounting. see, i told you you rock. for a towel, i mean.

i have to stop only doing this on my lunch, as i don't have time to think properly. So let's just make this easy: fresh fruit for rotting vegetables by the kennedys. ok, now where are we again?

new york's alright if you like saxophones

2008-10-31T05:22:00.000-07:00

Sorry I'm lagging a little with the blogs. The last month and a half of school is always the worst. But on the plus side, I got the only A in my accounting class on the midterm! Go me go!

I think I did the Velvet Underground & Nico about a week ago. Well I didn't DO them, although that would make a much better story. But I did select that album, in any case. And although I feel bad for doing two in a row, I don't feel bad enough not to do it. You can do two next if you want. My proposal is: Dinosaur jr, either You're Living All Over Me or Dinosaur. Both are really solid albums, but I think the former has a more diverse track listing than the latter. So sure, I'll just go with that.

Happy Halloween! You're a towel!

yeah, you stick to being stuck on stickers

2008-10-29T12:04:00.001-07:00

i did as many sketches of the one's that i thought i needed to borrow style from - but i have a lot to learn about character design ... well, i've got another decade to figure it out. so okay, that's ten albums, a hundred songs, and i think one or two classical recordings. i thought about breaking our music up into styles, but then it occurred to me that it's really all one style, pretty much. i mean, where the artistry of folk meets the violence of punk is rock. without r&b there would be no beat. without classical compositions, no structure. without jazz, no expansion. i'd love to basically exclude country, except that it doesn't all suck (although that which doesn't suck is certainly not radio country and western). the same thing holds true for pop. disco, however, can die and no one will miss it.

so wait, i haven't been paying attention ... did we do the velvet underground and nico yet? if not i totally want that to be next album. if we've already done that, then you go and i'll get back with another tomorrow.

you know what's neat? we're about to elect a black man president of the united states. now maybe people can start to get the fuck over it.